Xavier's Evil Fun
by Mr. Squirrels
Summary: Everyone get happy and go hug a tree.


Disclaimer  
I don't own the X-Men. I also don't the Wizard of Oz. I don't own that scary little boy from the Sixth Sense. I do own however a tree, two walnuts, an almond, magnifying glass, and half a bathtub. I am a currently running for president of Union of Squirrels. Vote for Me @ mr_squirrels17@hotmail.com!  
  
Warning  
These characters don't act the X-Men. Don't know why or how this happened, just did. Don't like it, just e-mail my lawyer at kissmyass@gotohell.com  
  
Xavier's Evil Fun  
  
"Professor I think dat when I wen'in for my appointment dat Hank did more dan just check my health," Gambit whined.   
  
"Gambit you know that Hank just wants to make sure that we're in good health," replied the Xavier.  
  
"Ok, but do dat include rippin out my hair," Gambit said.   
  
"Fine I'll have Iceman check it out if it makes you feel better," the Professor said as he gave in. He had on a large grin from ear to ear. "Don't worry every thing will be ok." Then the Professor went back to his office.  
  
Bobby didn't like to go near Beast because he never knew what he did down in that lab. He always imagined Beast becoming some sort of mad scientist. The door was unlocked so he opened it.  
  
"Oh my G-d" he said as he looked around at the many items in the room, they were mostly books though. How could one man read so many books? Maybe Gambits going mad. Remy always did seem strange, or he could be smoking LSD or becoming paranoid or something.  
  
"Get them away, they're little, evil monkeys. No! Stop poking me! Please have mercy!!" He hears Beast yelling. Bobby walks into the room that Hank is in, he was clinging to the pipes screaming bloody murder but there was nothing there. No monkeys, nothing.   
  
"Hank, what the hell is wrong with you. HELLO! ! !" Bobby yells. Hank shakes his head as if to clear his head from a trance. Then he falls with a loud 'thonk' to the floor, head first and goes to sleep. " Is it warm in here, or is it just me?" He states and he turns into his ice mode.  
  
"Stop there," Shouts Hanks voice. Bobby quickly turns around. Beast is standing up with a little ray gun in his right hand. "Now you shall melt from my heat-ray gun." 'ZAP! ! !'  
  
"AAAAHHHHH!! ! I'M MELTING, MELTING. AH, WHAT A WORLD, WHAT A WORLD! ! ! WHO COULD HAVE THOUGHT BEAST COULD DESTORY MY BEAUTIFUL WICKEDNESS" He screams as he melts into a large puddle of water.   
  
"Iceman wake up! Are you ok?" Scott asks shaking him roughly. His eyes pop wide open.   
  
"Where's Hank? When I get my hands on him I'm going to rip his heart out and eat it raw!" He cries in mad fury, everyone just stares at Bobby, slack jawed with shock. They begin to back away slowly.   
  
"I don think dat he even in de right mind," Gambit whispers softly. They all started to talk about which Asylum he should go to, instead of a collage.  
  
"I'm not crazy!" Bobby shouted.  
  
" Rrright," Scott said eyeing him strangely.  
  
"Bobby maybe you should go to your room and try to settle that and the many other major 'issues' that you may have," Jean said almost just like a psychologist.  
  
"Ok, I have some important issues to talk to myself about," Bobby said as he left the room. Maybe I was just imagining that Hank did that, but it seemed so real Bobby thought up in his room. A lot of strange things have been happening around lately. First Gambit, then Beast now me. Maybe I'm slowly becoming an idiot. Yes I'm becoming a nitwit. Soon I'll be just like Juggernaut. Slow and stupid. Yep I'll have the IQ of a rock."Yes I'm becoming an idiot!" he cried. "Shoot I said that out loud!"  
  
"Bobby what the hell did you just say?" Warren came in yelling.  
  
"Bobby it is no news to us that you are an idiot," Scott said angrily.  
  
"I'm gonna give ya a woopin ya never for get for waking me up!" Wolverine growled as he walked into the room. " Oh my G-d what are those things!!" he yelled pointing to the door. Nothing was there. "Get them away. RUN! Their vicious ferrets with buckteeth! Save me please don't let them get me. Logan then ran to the far end of the room but the was no escape from the imaginary fiend that his psychotic head made up. He turned around screaming "Help me! PLEASE! NO! THEY GOT ME! STOP! STOP THE NIBBLING! NO DON'T BITE MY SOFT TUSH! NNNOOO, NOT MY MAN HOOD, DON"T BITE THERE!" Then he fell to the imaginary saber tooth ferrets; he fell into a deep nap.  
  
"Ah Logan. Wake up!" Scott screamed at full blast.  
  
"Get the ferrets they have my man hood. Come back Mr. Ferret, come back, I need it." Wolverine whimpers as he starts to cry.  
  
"Don't worry about it. Not even ferrets can steal a manhood, if you don't have one," Scott said giggling and trying very hard not to burst out laughing. Every one else just looked at him and kept their distance as if he had contracted some deadly disease.  
  
"Everyone is acting like they have lost their marbles," Bobby comments.  
  
"I see dead ferrets. They are everywhere. They don't know they're dead," Wolverine whispers, eyes bulging out of their sockets. "You know when you get that prickly feeling on your back or Goosebumps on arms, it's them. And when they get angry, it gets cold. I see them all the time." He pointed to the shadows.  
  
"Everyone lets go see the professor. Maybe he knows what is going one," Scott suggested. They opened the door to the professor's office. "Professor? Are you there?"  
  
"Oh my, what are you doing here?" Xavier said as he coughed.  
  
"What is that white powder all over your desk? Have you been snorting cocaine again?" Scott asks, everyone was still.  
  
"Is this enough evidence for you Cyke?" Wolverine said holding it up.   
  
"No that's mine!" yelled Xavier.  
  
"No way Chuck," Wolverine growled.  
  
"Here I come!" he yelled. He jumped out of his hover chair and started to seal hop towards him. " I'll bite your ankles off!" Then he locked his teeth around Wolverine's ankles. "Now I shall blind you all by reflecting the sun light off my head."  
  
"AAAAAHHHHH!!!! My eyes! I can't see. Have mercy!!!" Wolverine cried in agony.  
  
"Now you shall feel the wraith of Xavier!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!" He yells screaming his lungs out. " And one other thing Gambit I am your MOTHER!!"  
  
"NNNNNOOOOO!!!!!!!" Gambit screamed.  
  
"The Professor only does these things when he is real high," Scott said. "Wolverine restrain him!"  
  
"But I can't see!" He shouted over the Professors crazed laughter.   
  
"Give me back my coke!" The Professor shouted. Then he fainted from an over dose.  
  
"I can't believe the Professor was snorting," Wolverine said as he looked at the Prof.. After this the Professor was sent to a rehab center. Later on in life, he wrote books, I Know What You Are Thinking and Still I Know What You Are Thinking.  
  
  



End file.
